Draw Me a Map
by LTMGreyCastle
Summary: Cal Screws up and needs to make amends... post season 3. Currently T, but likely M chapter towards the end.
1. Chapter 1

**—Chapter 1—**

"Ah shit," he thought as his world faded to black. Gill was gonna bloody kill him - if this guy didn't finish the job. After his last misadventure, he'd promised he would behave...

 **3 weeks earlier**

Nothing broke his heart more than seeing her cry and after his last brush with trouble, Gill had shown up on his doorstep, puffy eyes giving away her recent tears. He could see new ones pooling in eyes as he reached out to her.

"Sorry, love. I'm ok really" he murmured as the back of his right had brushed away some tears and tucked her hair behind her ear before he pulled her into a bear hug.

She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, took a deep, albeit shaky, breath and start to sob. He just held her, hand running soothing circles on her back, and let her cry. As she start to calm and pull away, she met his eyes, a soft and sad smile on her lips and he pulled into the house. "Drink, darling?"

"Just some water, Cal," she absently responded and wandered into his living room. Curling up on this couch, she mused over that look he just flashed her outside. She really didn't see that did she?

Cal walked into the room, put the glass on the coffee table, and slung himself on to the couch. He reached out and pulled her to him.

They sat like that for a while, her head on his shoulder and hand over his heart as his head rested on hers, each taking comfort in the other. "Cal," she murmured, "I need you to stop being so careless." And as she paused to take a breath and gather her nerves, he pulled away to look at her face. He may not be able to read voices as well as Gill but something in hers told him he need to focus on this.

"I can't lose you too. After Claire and Sophie and my marriage, I just can't handle losing you too," she whispered all her feelings flash flooded over her face

"I'm sorry love," he quietly said as he watched her face. He saw fear, disappointment, and love flash. The love surprised him, but then she did just mention Sophie; that must have been it. "I'll try harder to not take unnecessary risks, darling. You're stuck with me, Gill."

"I'm serious, Cal. No more," she said as she settled back into his embrace.

"I promise, love" he murmured into her hair and she heard the truth in his voice.

* * *

A/N: I'm mostly through chapter 3 and starting to realize that Cal is coming off much softer personality wise than TV show portrayed. Forgive me... I suspect that his underlying personality is much closer to the gentle, caring person we see with Emily. I think Gill might have gotten completely there in S4 - once Cal finally admitted it out loud, I dont think he could have avoided/denied it anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**—Chapter2—**

 **Present Time**

Bloody hell, he thought as he started to rouse. He tried to to take a breath and sit up when the pain stopped him short. Opening his eyes, well the left one that wasn't swollen shut, and grimaced.

"Dad?" He heard from off to his right and a worried Emily came into view. "What happened? We were so worried."

Glancing around the room and sat up with a start, gasping out, "Gill! Where's Gill?" And looked around the room in a panic and started to get out of the bed.

Emily pushed him back into the stretcher, "Jesus what's wrong with you? Stay in bed. You've got broken ribs, a stabbed leg, and a concussion. She just went to get coffee... she's as pissed at you as I've ever seen, by the way. What did you do?" She finished as he started to calm down hearing the distinctive sound of Gill's heels come down the hall.

As she rounded the corner into his ER room and noticed that he was awake, her worried expression gave way. She tried not to show him anything but he could see the anger shimmering under that wall. "Give us a minute, love?" He asked Emily.

Em flashed concern and love at him as she nodded then kissed his cheek. "I think I'll just go grab some coffee too," as she backed out of the room.

With a deathly calm, Gill closed the door and turned to look at him. "Gill-" he tried to start and explain before she cut him off.

"Jesus Christ, Cal!" She exploded. "3 WEEKS! You couldn't even make it a month! Do you remember what you promised me just 3 weeks ago?! No. More. Risks." She seethed at him. Cal could see the clearly visible anger and read the underlying concern, but she kept flashing something else that he just couldn't put his finger on.

"Darling, I promised no more unnecessary risks. This had to be done," he said and reached for her hand.

Pulling her hand out of his grasp, "What part of gambling is necessary?" She asked as she turned away. "I told you I can't lose you then you go and do this..." He could hear the tears in her voice and it ripped his heart out. "I just don't know how much more I can take. I'm going home. You're staying here," She said as she walked out leaving him stunned silent behind her.

* * *

Emily walked back in 5 minutes later to find him disconnected from the monitor and searching the room.

"What are you doing dad?! Get back in bed!" she said as she flushed him back towards the stretcher. "You're not supposed to be up yet."

"I have to go after her, Em," he said, trying to push himself of the bed. "Where are my bloody pants?"

"What happened dad? Whats got Gill so mad?" Emily asked as she blocked his attempt to leave. "Whats going on with you guys?"

"Leave it alone, Em," He grumbled and finally pushed himself to standing with a grimace and limp.

"Dad! Sit down, don't hurt yourself worse…" She trailed off her initial shout and continued much more softly. "You should have seen Gill while you were out. She sat in the chair right by your side, weirdest look on her face - She was steaming mad but there was something else I couldn't quite place. Keep mumbling 'Dammit Cal, you promised! Wake up.' Alternating between holding your hand and brushing the good side of your face. You screwed up big this time." Frustrated beyond anything she'd ever felt with him, she heaved off a big sigh then looked straight at him. "Why do you keep pushing her away? She loves you, you idiot!"

"Em, I said leave it alone. Find my bloody pants! I need to go find her." He snapped and showed her exactly how exasperated he was on his face.

"Go make it right." she said and tossed the clothes at him.

* * *

Gill paced her living room, tumbler in her hand. She flopped down on the couch, drawing her legs up, and pulling her favorite blanket over her legs. "I thought we were past all this recklessness," She thought angrily wiping the tears with her free hand. She wasn't sure if she was crying because she was worried about Cal or because she was just so damn mad at him.

She took the final gulp out of the tumbler and slammed the glass on her coffee table. She gave a self-deprecating laugh as she realized just how much her life and choices revolved around him... She was as mad at him as she'd ever been and here she sat, drinking his scotch, that she keep supplied for him. She'd given up her job to learn his science. She loved his daughter like her own. And the kicker was he just didn't seem to care — about her.

Gill rested her head on her knees, took a deep cleansing breathing, resolved to think about what to do later, and closed her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

—Chapter 3—

Gill startled awake and quickly recognized the distinctive knock on her door. Pushing the blanket off her legs, she stood up, and walked to the door with resignation. He'd just let himself in if she didn't answer.

As she reached the door, she realized exactly how much she didn't want to talk tonight. Making a quick decision, she slid the chain in place so he couldn't bully his way in, and opened the door. "I really don't want to do this right now, Cal," she said.

"Love, please let me in. I want to explain." He said as he looked through the crack in the door. Hoping she wouldn't slam the door on him, he reached for her hand through the gap. When she didn't pull away, he continued, "I know your steaming mad at me, Darling, but I had to do this. Just let me explain."

She could hear the remorse and frustration in his voice as she leaned against the door jam, wiping fresh tears from her eyes with her free hand.

"You've got the advantage here, love," he continued. "You can read my voice but I can't see you. Please, Gillian, just let me see you."

She didn't know what to say, so she just stayed quiet. They stood that way for a few minutes; Cal's back resting on the door, hand through the gap, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand. He slowly accepted his fate, glad he couldn't read the rejection on her face, and as he started to pull his hand away she held him in place.

"I need to think, Cal," she whispered as she squeezed his hand. "I'm not ready to listen yet. I'm not coming to work tomorrow. I'll see you on Monday."

She still hadn't let go, so Cal just stood there, terrified and in a full out panic. That painful, tear-filled whisper just ripped his heart out. "Bloody hell," he thought as he realized this just might be the one that finally pushed her away.

With one last plea, he made sure everything he felt was in his voice and said, "Take your time, love. I'm here when your ready to talk. I'm sorry." He let her hand go and walked to his car.

Gill closed the door, leaned against and slid to the floor. Curling up in a ball, she let her tears flow. She'd heard it all in voice just now, he'd let it all out. His beautiful accented voice was full of remorse and honesty and love throughout the entire conversation. But those last 3 sentences, the amount of emotion there, just took her breath away.

* * *

It was noon the next day when Torres walked into his office and Cal finally knew who drew the short straw. "Here to satisfy the gossips and find out where Foster is?" He snorted as her as he brought his shoes off his desk to the floor and stood up. Getting in her face, he said, "Mind your own business, Torres. Mummy and Daddy are just fine."

Turning to head into his study, he heard Torres snort. Spinning around quickly, he caught her unmasked. She quickly wiped the anger and disgust off her face and her mask fell place.

"Aye, aye, darling; what's got ya so mad at me? Not buying my story, eh?" He spat the words at her, itching for a confrontation.

"You walk in here looking like you got the shit kicked outta you and Foster takes an unexpected day off?! I think you screwed up real bad, Lightman. I think this may have been Foster's final straw. Tell me I'm wrong." She challenged.

"Think you're so smart, eh?" He said. Not acknowledging or denying her theory, he turned around and went into his study. Ignoring Torres as she continued to try and read him, he slouched onto the chair and said, "Don't you have work to do?"

* * *

Gill sat on a bench in the late afternoon sun, people watching on the Mall, taking a break from the walk she started to help clear her mind, as unsuccessful as that has been. She had spent her day both trying to put the situation of her mind and work through it — often simultaneously. She figured Cal would have texted or called by now. Patience was definitely not his strong suit; pushing boundaries on the other hand… She just wasn't sure if she wanted to hear from him or not, probably wouldn't know that answer until it happened. _God,_ how she hated this indecision. Heaving off a huge sigh, and figuring a little chocolate would help the situation, she took the path home with one quick detour.

As Gill walked out of the ice cream shop, she pulled her peacoat a little tighter against the fall chill, and smiled. Double Fudge ice cream, no matter the season, always made her feel better. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket as she started towards home, figuring it was Cal, her ambivalence resolved itself, and she decided to ignore it.

No sooner had she finished her cone, when her phone rang. She huffed out another sigh, resigned herself to at least telling Cal to leave her alone. She fished her phone out of her pocket, sat down on a nearby bench, and curtly answered, "Not now, Cal."

She was greeting with a few beats of silence, then a cautious sounding, "Gillian? Are you ok?" greeted her ears. "You didn't respond to my text and weren't at work. I was worried."

"Emily?" Gill questioned, knowing her greeting would have triggered the teen's curiosity even more than any odd behavior her father may have had last night.

"Yeah, its me. I—" Emily started and stopped. "What happened? What did he do?"

"Em…" Gill started, then paused. Choosing her words carefully, she continued, "I know you're worried about him, but this is between us."

"This is about more than him getting beat up," Emily realized. "Gill, whatever he did, whatever happened; you need to talk to him."

"We will, sweetheart," Gillian said. She could hear the concern in Emily's voice. "I just need some space to figure some things out."

"He needs you," Emily pushed on. "He loves you. And I know you feel the same way. I can see it, you know. Both of you are so much happier together."

"Emily-" Gill tried to unsuccessfully interrupt.

"I love you. You're family. We need you. Please, Don't let him push you away," Emily pleaded.

Gillian could feel the tears starting to pool, as she could hear the love and distress in the younger woman's voice. She took a shaky breath trying to pull herself together. "I love you too, Em. You're stuck with me. Your dad and I will talk soon. I promise; please don't worry. Girls dinner later this week?"

"Ok, dinner for sure," Emily agreed. "No promises on the worrying. Bye Gill."

"Bye, Em." Gill said. Sliding her phone back in the pocket, she once again stood up and as started the walk back home she realized her earlier indecision had be resolved. She needed to hear what was made his most recent escapade necessary. But first, she'd  
take the weekend and gather her strength for the emotional showdown with Cal. She was done walking the tightrope their line had become.


	4. Chapter 4

Walking into work Monday morning, Gillian braced herself for her first interaction with Cal since trouble last found him. Opening her office door, she noticed a box on sitting prominently on her desk. As she took her coat off, she walked towards her desk. Setting coat and purse on the edge of her couch, she rounded the desk, sat in her chair, and reached for the box. Setting the card on top aside, she noticed the logo on the top and smiled. As she opened the lid, her smile grew; nestled inside was a four pack of truffles from her favorite chocolate shop. With every ounce of self-restraint she had, she pushed the chocolate aside to save for later, and snagged the card. Opening the envelope, she recognized his distinctive scrawl:

"I know you heard all my truths last week, love. Let me explain, yeah?"

Pulling the card to her heart, she smiled softly. Leaning forward, she opened the bottom drawer of her desk. She placed the truffles in front with the rest of her chocolate stash and reached for the folder in the back. She placed the card there along with her other treasures: notes from Cal, the snowflake from Afghanistan, hand-drawn pictures and cards from Emily, her favorite picture of Sophie. Standing up, she headed out of her office. Now wasn't the time for that talk, but she could at least break the silence.

She was halfway to his study door, when Torres caught up to her. "He's not there. CIA came this morning for a new case," Ria said as she searched Gills face for clues about last week. "By the way, welcome back."

"Thanks," Gillian replied careful not to let anything slip. "Guess I'll just have to catch him later." She turned and started toward the break room to grab some coffee before working on paperwork.

It was few hours later, when she finally finished payroll and she still hadn't heard from Cal. She hit the intercom button and confirmed with Anna that Lightman hadn't made it back then picked up her phone. She sent him a quick text, then grabbed her coat and headed out for quick lunch.

* * *

It was almost 4 o'clock before Cal convinced those government plonkers that a break would be good for everyone involved. Finally stepping outside into the crisp air, he reached for his phone as it started to ding signaling the return of service. A quick glance showed a text from Gill, missed call from Emily, and 2 texts from Loker. Deciding Loker could sod off, and not quite ready to see what Gillian had to say, he selected for a moment and listened to Emily's message then texted her the answer.

Not quite sure what she would have to say, he opened Gills's text with some trepidation. A sigh of relief came when he read her words, "Trying to bribe me? You know chocolate is always a good start. Miss you." Ice broken, Cal quickly hit her number on his phone, he needed to hear her voice, text just wasn't gonna work.

Bouncing on his feet with nervous energy as the phone rang. She didn't answer, but it rang long enough for him to know she wasn't just ignoring him. As her voicemail finished, he said, "Don't know how long this will take. No service in the bloody building. Miss you too, love." Then turned around and headed inside. Best to get this over with, eh?

* * *

It was a little after 7pm when Cal wandered back into the office. He intended to pick up his laptop and head home, but noticed the light was still on in Gillian's office. Adjusting course, he headed that way. He knew he didn't have time to talk but he needed to see her.

As he rounded the corner, he raised his hand to knock but stopped short and took a moment to just watch her. She had her back to him, straightening up her desk. He leaned against the door jam, letting his eyes wander up her legs, then as he reached for her jacket said, "Hello, Darling."

Gill startled, not expecting anyone, and whipped around. Finally seeing him, a surprised smile fell on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"Just enjoying the view," he responded, enjoying the faint blush that crept over face. Holding her jacket out and helping her with it, he continued, "Needed to pick up my laptop."

She turned around and his hands came to rest at her waist. She reached up and gently brushed her hand along his still bruised but less swollen cheek, rubbing his day old scruff before resting her hand on his shoulder. "Thanks for the truffles, Cal. You're still in trouble though." She smiled softly at him as he tried to control that cocky smirk of his.

He was having some trouble controlling his mask, sure he was giving himself away, but he didn't care when she looked at him like that, cause Cal would've bet his house he was reading love off her pretty face. He brushed a strand of hair behind her left ear and he said, "Aye, Aye, Foster. Can't talk right now, Em's waiting at home. How about dinner tomorrow at my place?" She nodded.

Finally, unable to control himself any longer, and since she was still looking at him like that, he leaned over and kissed her. Not their normal side of the lips almost kiss, not this time. He softly kissed her straight on the lips, didn't push it anymore though, kept it chaste for now, and he smiled as she seemed reluctant to have him pull away. "Be right back love. Let me grab my laptop and I'll walk ya out, eh?" then he turned and headed towards his office.

* * *

The next afternoon, Gillian sat at her desk taking a quick moment to herself. The morning had been crazy and she was grateful for that, meant she didn't have time to obsess any more over that kiss - she done enough of it last night over a glass of wine and a long bath. She was still floored that he'd done it, figured if they ever kissed outside of a case, she'd have to be the one to initiate things. But then again, between his voice last Friday and the note yesterday, he was making his position known.

She reached for a truffle from Cal, touched her lips, and catching her own tell, blushed anew. Of course, he would choose that exact moment to walk in. Slouching in the chair across the desk from her, he caught her eye and smirked, "Care to share, Foster?"

Not breaking eye contact, Gill smiled and watched his pupils dilate as she licked a little mealies chocolate from her finger. She managed to keep her triumph masked as she stood and walked to the door, sliding her hand along his shoulders as she passed, and knowing he was watching she let her hips sway a little more than normal. Reaching the door, she looked over her shoulder, smirked, and asked, "Coming?" Giggling to herself as she heard him groan before following her.

Catching up to her, Cal slid his arm around her waist letting his hand settle at the small of her back. Thumb brushing the base of the zipper on her dress, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, "In my dreams, nightly."

Rolling her eyes at him and giving him a small shove, she reached for the lab door only to have him reach over her and hold it shut. She turned and looked at him, only to find herself trapped between him and the door, his gaze intense and arousal all over his face.

"Dinner tonight. 7 o'clock alright?" He asked, suddenly nervous.

Placing her right hand on his chest, just over his heart, to keep some space between them. "Mm hmm," she murmured. Then recalling this morning, when she's pretty sure Torres and Anna had read just enough off her face when she bumped into Lightman to have started the gossip mill spinning, she gave in. She leaned in, kissed him on the lips, then ducked under his arm, and opened the lab door. "I'll bring the wine," she said before leaving him standing there, shocked, and too surprised to follow her though the open door.

* * *

a/n: I have a vague idea of how Cal screwed up and how it was necessary. But the writing of it and details are eluding me...it's coming though. Promise.


	5. Chapter 5

Gillian had snuck out of work earlier than usual today to go for a run, needing to burn off some of her nervous energy. It hadn't helped, at all. Her mind kept circling back to her unusually bold move in the hallway; she was still having difficulty believing she had actually kissed him. At work. In the hallway. Where anyone could have seen. The electricity from just that small peck had shocked her and the look in his eyes had left her weak in the knees. Stepping out of her bathroom, she felt her face flush from more than just her hot shower. Oh God, she thought walking to her closet.

Looking at her options, she realized she had absolutely no idea what to wear. Picking up then discarding option after option, she started to get frustrated. After all it was just a causal dinner with her best friend, but it was also dinner with Cal and things were changing… She hadn't been this nervous for dinner since, well, never. She huffed off a sigh, pulled on her favorite skinny jeans, and threw on her favorite pink tunic. A quick look at the clock meant only minimal makeup and no time to blow dry her hair, au natural waves it was.

* * *

Bloody Hell, he was nervous and he didn't like. Couldn't remember feeling this anxious since, well, he couldn't recall. He was having trouble concentrating because of it. Almost burnt the bloody chicken, scorched the sauce once already and had to start over. Hadn't burnt anything while cooking in years, especially his chicken marsala. Giving the marsala sauce once last stir, he paced the kitchen. Took off his apron, put it back on, paced some more, checked the clock. She would be here any minute, looking all gorgeous, and here he was, clothes wrinkled from the days wear. Shit, he didn't have time to shower, but he needed to change quick — This was no normal dinner with his best friend.

Running up the stairs, he ripped off the apron, then stripped to his boxers. Pulled out a clean pair of khakis and grabbed a black button down. He gave his tie collection the side eye, considered one, then decided he best not give her a weapon to strangle him with if things went bad. Hearing her car pull in to the drive, he headed downstairs to grab the door.

He opened to the door just as she was preparing to knock, and knock him on his ass she did. "Stunning, love," he murmured as he gawked, letting his eyes travel the length of her body. As great as she looked at work, he really loved her like this. Minimal makeup with freckles shining though, wavy hair that looked like he had just ran his hands through it. Wasn't gonna complain about the cleavage either. "Come on in," he said barely moving out of the way.

Blushing under his intense stare, Gillian entered the house. The minimal space he created, left her having to turn and brush against him as she passed, his pupils dilating more as her breast brushed his arm. Turning around to face him once she passed, she slipped off her shoes and took the moment to appraise him. Noticing he'd changed clothes she teased, "Not so bad yourself, Lightman," sure he could read the arousal on her face. "Wasn't sure if we would need red or white tonight," she said as she raised the bottles.

"You're choice, love," he said. "They both go well with your favorite." Unable to restrain himself from touching her any longer, he leaned in, wrapping her in a hug as he rubbed his stubbly chin along the side of her neck before kissing her just behind her ear. Gill couldn't help the faint moan that escaped as he found the sensitive spot, and Cal filed that information away for future use.

Pulling out of his embrace, mask down, she turned quickly, and headed to the kitchen. Placing the bottles on the counter, she grabbed the wine glasses. Deciding on the red, she handed the bottle opener and the Malbec to Cal. Best to give him something to do beside try and read her. Then noticing the unfinished salad, she put her nervous energy to use. Finishing the salad as Cal handed her a glass of wine, she met his eyes and felt a sense of calm settle over her.

As they ate, they kept the conversation light; both nervous about the coming conversation but equally anxious to get it over with. When they finished, Cal reached over and grabbed her hand, rubbing random patterns with his thumb, said, "Sorry, darling, blame Loker for cornering me about chimpanzees, but I didn't have time to grab dessert. May have some ice cream," he trailed off, leering at her before waggling his eyebrows. "Unless, you can thing of something else," he finished.

She pouted her lips, trying to hold back a smile, and pushed at his shoulder. "Cal.." she only half warned as she stood up to clear the dishes.

"Leave it in the sink. Can clean up later yeah?" Cal told her as he followed with his plate and their wine glasses. Pouring them each refills, he headed in the to living room. "Just come sit with me, Gill," he said as he sat in the corner of the couch and turned on some background music.

Gill followed him, setting her glass on the coffee table as she reached the couch. She hesitated, unsure where to sit; she wanted to snuggle right into him, like that night almost a month ago, but settled for the middle cushion. "No, Cal," she said as he reached to pull her towards him. A little space, for both of them, during this conversation was for the best. "We need to talk."

Unwilling to let go of her hand, he entwined their fingers and settled their joined hands on his knee. "Ok, love," he said, then opened and closed his mouth a few times. He turned away, unsure of what to say. Reading his nervousness, she rubbed along his jaw, and let her mask drop. "Just tell me the truth, Cal. I'm here. Use your words and tell me," she said as she slid her hand down his arm to joined their already clasped ones.

As usual, those gorgeous blue eyes, made even prettier by the love he could now read, righted his world and calmed him down. "Ok, I'll try. Just please let me get it all out. No interrupting," he said and she nodded.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before locking eyes with her. "I did it for you, well not getting the shit kicked outta me part," he started. As she frowned, sighed, and started to opened her mouth, he reached out and put a finger over her mouth. "No interrupting," he reminded her. He brushed the back of his right hand along her cheek and then his words came out in a rush. "You and I, we've both been dancing around this for years. Bout time the truth came out, huh? We got pretty close when ya said you couldn't lose me. Terrified me, love, but you got me thinkin' that we were finally there. Together, yeah? And, I figured I best get my shit together, cause ya deserve better than me."

"Cal, I get a say in this..." she said, reading the shame and anger at himself off his face as he said the last sentence. "You're a go-"

"Not done yet darling. I saw what that wanker ex-husband of yours did to you; how much it tore you apart. And I can't hurt you like that. You're right about me gambling that day." Unable to watch her face any longer, unwilling to watch what he presumed would be disappointment with him cross her beautiful face, he turned his head away, and continued "I'd made a few bad bets right before Claire and they needed to be paid. Was gonna use my poker winnings to cover the debt. Planned on walking away afterwards. Well, got the money, went to close out the account then that plonker from one of our first few cases, the embezzlement one, name was... "

"Frank Bauer," Gill recalled

"Yeah him, turns out he's outta jail now. Just walks in, takes one look at me, makes me, and blows the Jimmy the Mouth cover. Ya can probably guess how well underground gamblers take to having a face-reading FBI partner around… So I'm done. I'm out, even if I hadn't planned to leave," Cal finished.

"Cal," Gillian started as she reached out with her left hand and placed it on his right cheek. Gently rubbed her hand along his jaw, she turned his face, forcing him to look at her. "Listen to me, read me while I say this, know it's the truth. You ARE a good man, Cal. You maybe egotistical and self destructive at times, but you are a GOOD man."

"Gill-" he started to interrupt, uncomfortable with the honesty he was seeing in her eyes.

"My turn now Cal." She stopped him. "Most, not all, but most of foolish, dangerous situations you've put yourself in were to protect someone else; physically, mentally, emotionally. Jenkins, Matheson, even Wallowski. Yes, I may have gotten hurt or been scared, but you were trying to protect me, even if it was unnecessarily from yourself." She paused taking a shaky breath as he wiped a tear from her cheek. "See Cal, unlike Alec, you always put my needs above yours. So yes, I do deserve a good man, and I want you. I love you." She smiled as she finished, adjusting her hand to wipe the lone tear from his cheek. She knew more were falling from her eyes, but she couldn't help it as she read immense joy and love from his face.

Cal couldn't quite believe his ears, but her face wasn't showing him anything other than love. He felt her brush his cheek and realized that a tear had escaped. So bloody be it, he was crying. Well, when his heart had just exploded from sheer happiness and love, he was having trouble caring. Stealing his other hand from her grip, he framed her face, then leaned in and kissed her. Feeling her arms warp around his neck, he deepened the kiss, brushing his tongue along her lower lip, then slipping it inside her mouth as she opened for him. Christ, she tasted good, he thought as someone moaned. He moved one hand to her hip and the other to the back of her head, threading his fingers through her hair. Leaning forward, he laid her back on the couch as he tilted her head to the side and she moaned as he kissed right behind her ear. Then licking, nipping, and kissing, he made his was down her neck, stopping for a moment to suck at her pulse point. Switching sides, intending to work his was back up, Cal took a quick nip, right where her neck met the inner edge of her collarbone, but before he could go any farther, Gill groaned his name and her fingers tightened in his hair. Cal growled before taking her lips with his again. Gillian found her hands at his waistband, pulling his shirt up, and just she was about to slid her hands under his shirt, "Ahem," echoed throughout the room.

They froze, shocked, until Cal reluctantly pulled his lips from hers. Looking up towards the doorway, he scowled at the intruder. "Bloody hell, Em. Get lost," he said as Gillian grabbed the front of his shirt and buried her face in his neck. Reading the triumph and joy in his daughters face, Cal realized they weren't escaping unscathed tonight. "Come on, love," he murmured as he sat up, pulling Gillian next to him, half sitting in his lap, using her legs over his lap to avoid making this even more embarrassing.

Emily smirked as she made her way to couch. Flopping down next to Gil, she leaned her shoulder into the older woman. "So, does mean you two made up? Because you clearly made out," she teased, enjoying the embarrassment that flashed through the complete joy on both their faces.

"Em... Don't you have some homework to do?" Cal responded, leveling her with a look that clearly read leave-it-alone.

Being a Lightman and thus one to push boundaries, Emily simply ignored him and pushed on. "So did he tell you?" She asked Gill. Reading the end-of-his-rope frustration of her dad, she backed off. "Never mind. I'm just so happy for you guys," she said as she gave Gill a quick hug then kissed Cal's forehead. "About time!" She threw over her shoulder as she started to walk out of the room.

Gillian turned, threw a confused look at Cal, and asked, "What did Emily mean? Tell me what?"

He reached out, held her chin, ran his thumb over her lower lip. "She pried it outta me just after Claire. Been pushing and prodding and being insufferable about me telling you since..." He stopped and kissed her again, kept himself from deepening it, from getting lost her kiss. Getting lost in her eyes instead, he simply said, "I love you. I've been in love with you for years. That's what she wants me to tell you." He watched as his words filled her eyes with tears and her face with happiness.

This time she leaned in and kissed him, slid her tongue along his, played with the hair at nape of his neck. She moaned as Cal's hands slid under her shirt and along her back. Pulling away with a sigh, "We need to stop. Emily's upstairs," she reminded him, rubbing his chest with her hand. Then she stood up and said, "And I need to go too." Leaning over, purposely giving him a good view of her cleavage, she framed his face with her hands, and said, "I love you, Cal. See you tomorrow."

As she turned to go, Cal reached out and caught her wrist. When she turned and met his gaze, he said, "I'm gonna do everything I can to keep deserving you. I love you, darling." Then bringing her hand to his mouth, he placed a kiss in her palm before he let go.

* * *

A/N: Holy Crap, This chapter fought me hard; especially Cal... Wasnt the initial idea behind the his butt-kicking nor did his words come easy to me. Hopefully its not too horrible. Had plans for Chapter 6, but having a difficult time starting it. We will see.  
Thanks for the support so far.


	6. Chapter 6

**-Chapter 6-**

"Ok, Eli, rewind it just a little bit. I want to hear that again," she said. Leaning forward, resting her chin in her palm, she closed her eyes as Loker pressed play. Instead of listening to the tape, she found herself focused on the distinctive shuffling swagger she could hear approaching. "Again," she said.

"Oi, you!" He shouted as he walked in. "Foster, I'm talking to you."

"Hush, Cal. I'm listening. You watch," she admonished, never opening her eyes. Cal noticed the faint smile that ghosted over her lips as he nodded to Locker to press play.

"I just can't seem to put my finger on it, but something's off right there," Gill said as the clip finished. Opening her eyes, she turned to meet Cal's gaze and felt a blush rise up her chest at that look. "Arousal," she murmured not looking away.

"Right you are, love," Cal responded. He'd barely watched the video but she was right, knew it was written across his face. "Need to talk to you. My office, yeah?" he said turning to walk away.

"I'd say so," Loker chuckled to himself only to be cut off by Foster's glare as she swiveled the office chair towards him.

"The video, its faint, but he's aroused by the concept," she said as she stood. As she walked out the door called out, "Call the FBI, I want him in the cube this afternoon."

As she walked down the hallway towards Cal, she wondered what he wanted. They been so busy they'd barely seen each other since dinner two days ago. _"Business or pleasure? God, I hope pleasure,"_ she thought and felt herself blush anew. She paused for a breath before walking through his door.

Not two steps through the door when a rush of movement surprised her - Door quickly shut, locked, and her back against the door with Cal's lips on hers. She felt his hand thread through her hair while the other settled at her hip. Opening her mouth to his, she wrapped her arms around his waist. As tongues met, thrusting followed by withdrawal, hands roamed mapping each other, still learning the familiar but new territory. Cal pulled her closer and she moaned as he reached the under hem of her dress, the sensation of his palm of her thigh was delicious but the shock she needed. "Cal," she panted as she pulled away, "not at work..."

Taking his hand from under her dress, but not quite ready to give up hope, he slid it up to her butt while gently nipping at her earlobe. "My daughter has seen more of you than I have," he groaned and smirked at the slight shiver Gillian gave.

"We had a previously arranged girls night," she said as her hands wandered around his shoulders and entangled in his hair. "Your daughter knows the importance of making a date," she pouted.

"So you're saying you want to be wined and dined, then?" He asked as he watched her pout morph into a smile. "Aye, aye, love. Dinner tomorrow? The teenage interloper will be at a friends, so no interruptions," he said as he nuzzled her neck; voice deeper and accent stronger, "No matter what dessert you opt for," he growled before kissing her once again.

 _"_ Pick me up at 7p then. Now, any business reason you called me in here?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow at him. " _We already covered the pleasure,"_ her mind finished. "No? Ok. I need you in the cube this afternoon."

"The cube? I thought you just said not at work," he waggled his eyebrows at her before finishing with a leer, "Didn't figure you for an exhibitionist, love."

"FBI suspect from the video," she said, rolling her eyes at him. Walking out of his office she threw over her shoulder, "I still have some surprises left."

* * *

A few weeks later:

" _Damn woma_ n," he thought, finally standing to leave the cube long after every one else. He'd needed a moment, or two, or ten, to allow for things to deflate and his pants to loosen, least he blow their cover.

"Bloody, brilliant tease of a woman," he swore softly as he reached his study and poured himself a glass of scotch. Downing it in one quick gulp, he poured another and flopped on the couch. The not-so-subtle innuendo on his arrival this morning, followed by that kiss with a desperate edge when they finally had a moment alone were enough to keep him going for a while - well, truthfully, only the rest of the day. But, but, but... she just had to take it one step farther.

She knew the camera angles and blind spots of that cube as well as he did, and she had just used them to perfection. Just crossed her legs, subtly smirked at him when she caught him watching that hemline rise and bided her time. Next thing he knew, the toe of those sinfully sexy heels was running up and down the back of his calf. Then she just leaned back and rested her hand damn high on his thigh and intermittently curled her fingers into him. But oh, was he going to enjoy the hell out of getting payback.

He heard the click of her heels turn into his office and smiled. Payback was gonna happen sooner than anticipated. He threw a hooded glance over his shoulder and reached down to adjust himself just as she rounded the corner into his study. Gill stopped suddenly, gasped, and felt a blush start to rise up her chest at the look of pure lust in his eyes.

"Wench," he growled as he move his hand to frame his crotch. "You're playing with fire, love."

She knew what he was doing with his body language but still fell for it; letting her eyes linger over the very taut area of his jeans. She felt herself unconsciously lick her lower lip before bringing in between her teeth, then she looked at him with eyelids lowered, pupils damn near blown and eyes glistening.

As she closed the door, he could have swore he heard the click of the lock. Walking over to him, she pulled her dress up a little to accommodate her movements as she sat on his lap straddling him, and moaned as she felt his hardness push so close to where she wanted him. "I've missed you," she whispered before her lips meet his.

"Your gonna kill me," he growl. _"But what a brilliant way to go,"_ he finished to himself, nipping gently at her earlobe before making his way down her neck as his hand reached behind her, found her zipper, and slowly slid it open. As he brushed it from her shoulders to pool in her lap, he felt her hand under his polo and her nails scrap gently over his lower abdomen. Leaning forward, he took his tongue and slid it along the top of her bra, pausing to suck and nuzzle in the space between those two perfect mounds. His right hand reached up to her breast and he pinched her nipple just as he placed his mouth on the other and licked her through the lace. Gill's hand settled on the back of his head on a moan and held him there.

Gawd, he was doing such delicious things to her. She needed to touch his skin, feel his chest on hers. Letting her hand drift down, she grabbed the hem of his shirt, and pulled it over his head. She shivered at the loss as the movement pulled him away from her. Taking this opportunity to stand, she shimmied the dress off her hips and reached around to unclasp her bra.

"Gorgeous," he whispered reverently as he reached out to pull her back down to the couch. As Cal settled over her, Gill gasped at the sensation of his bare chest rubbing against her breasts and was awed by the tenderness and love in his face as he leaned down to kiss her. As his tongue did wonderful things to hers, she let her hands run all over his back and though the light dusting of his chest hair before she started on the buttons of his jeans.

"Gonna take Em on more college visits if this is my welcome back," he groaned against her stomach before letting his tongue run along the top of her lace panties. "Careful, love. Ya don't want the children to hear," he laughingly murmured at her moan as he pressed a kiss to the lace covering her clit.

"Mmhmm… They figured it out two days ago," she whispered shifting her hips to let him pull her underwear off. "Apparently, I was 'bossy' while you were gone."

"Bossy indeed," he growled along her thigh as she tangled her fingers in his hair and redirected him

* * *

 _A/N: I think that's all folks... the muse has left this one... not as much drama or intrigue as I intended in my outline but it is what it is._

 _Still love reading everything y'all are writing. Thanks for that._


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